Tuesday, November 01, 2005
40 and counting
Things hardly anyone, if not noone, knows about me.
Ok, these may also include reasons why no woman would marry me, but I’ve counted 40 so far.
1. I cannot leave a newspaper unfolded along its original creases
2. I’m the personification of procrastination
3. I love an Australian accent
4. I hate chat acronyms
5. Coffee has never kept me up at night
6. Alcohol has
7. I never share cheese
8. I’ve been groped from behind by a newly married woman
9. I’ve abandoned friends
10. I want to write just one great poem
11. I had hoped to have a Mohawk
12. I shall soon be the first bald male in four generations of my family
13. I’ve taught mathematics for a year
14. I’m claustrophobic
15. I have to bungee
16. I hope to die young
17. I’m a bigot
18. I love calligraphy
19. I believe in aliens
20. I don’t believe they’ve visited this planet
21. I’m sadistic when it comes to proving myself right
22. Some days I’ve been too lazy to brush my teeth in the morning
23. I have no innate talent
24. I’m more afraid of bears than any other animal
25. I have to visit Italy, hopefully at least twice
26. I will not eat pasta or pizza there
27. I forget faces very easily
28. I never learned to plan ahead
29. I’m afraid of vast water surfaces
30. I’m also altophobic
31. As a baby, I almost died of diarrhea
32. I’ve beaten children
33. I detest all reptiles
34. I cannot look up into the sky for more than a minute without being overwhelmed by the open space
35. I cannot use a public toilet unless I’m completely alone
36. Misspelling and mispronunciation really annoys me
37. I don’t handle pressure well
38. I’ve been attacked by a blind doctor and a pair of scissors
39. I’ve never been on a rollercoaster
40. Too many dogs have chased me
41. Apparently I’m a Male Chauvinist Pig
42. I can still sing along to most of the Spice Girls’ songs
Additions will be made, with due notification, as and when they come to mind.
Gershon Kingsley – Popcorn
Ok, these may also include reasons why no woman would marry me, but I’ve counted 40 so far.
1. I cannot leave a newspaper unfolded along its original creases
2. I’m the personification of procrastination
3. I love an Australian accent
4. I hate chat acronyms
5. Coffee has never kept me up at night
6. Alcohol has
7. I never share cheese
8. I’ve been groped from behind by a newly married woman
9. I’ve abandoned friends
10. I want to write just one great poem
11. I had hoped to have a Mohawk
12. I shall soon be the first bald male in four generations of my family
13. I’ve taught mathematics for a year
14. I’m claustrophobic
15. I have to bungee
16. I hope to die young
17. I’m a bigot
18. I love calligraphy
19. I believe in aliens
20. I don’t believe they’ve visited this planet
21. I’m sadistic when it comes to proving myself right
22. Some days I’ve been too lazy to brush my teeth in the morning
23. I have no innate talent
24. I’m more afraid of bears than any other animal
25. I have to visit Italy, hopefully at least twice
26. I will not eat pasta or pizza there
27. I forget faces very easily
28. I never learned to plan ahead
29. I’m afraid of vast water surfaces
30. I’m also altophobic
31. As a baby, I almost died of diarrhea
32. I’ve beaten children
33. I detest all reptiles
34. I cannot look up into the sky for more than a minute without being overwhelmed by the open space
35. I cannot use a public toilet unless I’m completely alone
36. Misspelling and mispronunciation really annoys me
37. I don’t handle pressure well
38. I’ve been attacked by a blind doctor and a pair of scissors
39. I’ve never been on a rollercoaster
40. Too many dogs have chased me
41. Apparently I’m a Male Chauvinist Pig
42. I can still sing along to most of the Spice Girls’ songs
Additions will be made, with due notification, as and when they come to mind.
Gershon Kingsley – Popcorn
0 Comments:
Don't just stand there with your mouth open... say SOMETHING dammit!
